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[Jul. 22nd, 2009|03:06 am] |
I've been offered a new job in NYC - to play guitar and sing to babies. I'm so thrilled...ah it will be so cool! It'll start as VERY part time but with the potential to make like...I dunno about 1/2-2/3 of my expected income any given month come fall and winter. So that's really sweet and I hope it becomes that, as maybe Striking Viking Story Pirates, Baby Wants Candy, freelance arranging, and subbing for improv classes (if I get that ball rolling) can fill the rest and I could continue to live completely off of my music.
As long as the city gives me energy to pursue my own music on top of all that, which I guess if the opportunity is there I am willing to try doing it and see, and then if I can't then cut back on the paying music stuff and replace it with better paying but soul-sucking stuff. (again, still have next to know idea what that would be).
At this point I know I'm pretty much looking for jobs that don't involve sight-reading full sheet music. Just not a skill I will ever have at a NYC-professional level. And the good news is they are out there.
I almost don't feel like I'm allowed to make non-epic posts in this thing anymore. Ah well. |
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| The opposition. |
[Feb. 10th, 2009|12:03 am] |
I think it's time to move to New York, and then I see the headlines that say 600,000 lost their jobs. And I feel like I see that headline every few weeks and it's a new batch of 600,000. That my director at my main job (who's looking for other more full-time work cause the director is part-time) went to a job fair today and the job fair had to close down because so many people were there that it overwhelmed the place, and he didn't even get inside the doors.
If I decide not to go, I really can't tell if that is prudence or weakness. Most times I'd say weakness, but most times aren't the current situation in the country. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 27th, 2009|01:35 am] |
Hmm. I think for me it's been awhile since I've posted.
I've been thinking a lot (like a lot a lot) in the last few days about moving to New York. I don't quite think I'm "ready" per se but I'm about as ready as I'm going to be and I have a lot of contacts in New York that I wish to..well basically take advantage of. And it's either this summer or a year from this summer and I feel like a year from this summer those contacts and I will not be as close as we are now and I won't be as comfortable relying on them to help me with the move/transition. So the ideal balance between when I'm ready to move and when people are there to help me move is going to be this summer and so I should move to New York City this summer.
To that effect, I need to really plan and plot out what it is I intend to do with my life. If I'm going to make this kind of a life alteration I might as well have a good reason for it - ESPECIALLY given that I have a great job doing what I love right now that pays me almost enough to live off of...which is enough in this economy. To give that up is big and I can't lose sight of that.
But I want I want to be with my girlfriend. I want to be with Drew. I want to be with Sammy and near my parents so that I can get home at the meager cost of $15 and 7 hours of my time, door-to-door. I want to pursue different avenues of music and theatre like solo songwriting and musical composition which I really haven't done much of lately and there will be plenty of in NYC. I have to assume piano playing will not be my main avenue of income as it has been since I graduated which will be stressful but also awesome because I will instead of my mind and fingers be using my body, voice, soul, in whatever I do.
A couple of my friends have reached out to help me already in this change in unexpected and awesome ways. Mary might have a cheap place for me to sublet. Dan might live with me. Alex will set me up with Kaplan test prep and even loan me money if I need it. Drew and Taylor will put me up for days here and there until I find a place of my own. Mom and Dad may even let me sublet Sammy's place from her for the month of July for a discounted rate. Barack Obama may give me a tax rebate to help me out.
So there's a lot of potential in this. Real potential and it feels doable and exciting rather than impossibly stressful and scary like it did two years ago. I've gone up on a big stage and failed (and suceeded) and so I'm pretty much ready to face it whichever way it goes.
I think it's time I come home. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2009|12:26 pm] |
My New Year's resolution is...
-Say No to something I instinctively wish to say Yes to.
-Say Yes to many things I instinctively wish to say No to.
My final New Year's resolution would also be to say I love you for the first time to someone and mean it, but I was lucky enough to have those be the first words out of my mouth in 2009.
2008 was a great year. It's going to be a great year. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2008|04:00 am] |
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i erased the last one...after rereading it it still sounded like i was saying i didn't want to be friends with anyone, even tho that is not the case. mulligan! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 30th, 2008|03:35 am] |
Sometimes I suck and I let everything sortof fester...usually when i'm home in Boston. I like to just sit around in my pajamas and watch tv/waste time online and generally nuke my mind with LCD. (not a typo). It's nice too just relax and let everyone else deal with everything else. But I feel guilty about not having wished a bunch of people Merry Christmas, haven't checked in with people in awhile about how they're doing and what's up. Hopefully New Years will give me a chance to call these people. I just have to remember that more than likely while they'd be happy to hear from me they aren't particularly bummed that I didn't call or email or im or anything. It's all good. Christmas is familytime mostly anyways.
Emails from Chicago about gigs are starting to creep into my life and I don't like it but it's reality. I still have two weeks of bliss between me and that city, thank God. Can't wait to see Taylor again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2008|10:04 am] |
I have a lot to be thankful for. It's difficult for me to be grateful just in this moment today because I am not able to be home with my family and friends and will be missing my 5th year high school reunion and this seriously bums me out. However I think a list of things I am grateful for will help remind me that life is good.
I have a job doing something that is incredibly fun and challenging. I am learning a lot from it and building a confidence I never used to have. It also is a job that frequently goes to the New York area and so I get to see good friends. I also get to do this job with people who are good friends including one of my best friends. This job also is going to give me very good affordable health insurance so if something drastic happens to me I won't have to go to parents/grandparents to cover the deductible.
I have an apartment that is wonderful - centrally located to many of the things I do and the people I hang out with. It has two bathrooms and my bedroom is far bigger than I even need it to be. When the heat proved to not work in it too well, the building manager loaned me a space heater to use for the winter which I am also very grateful for
I live in the best city in the country. While admittedly I wish I could share this city with more of the people I feel close to I still feel it's the right place for me and a great city to know.
I have a girl in my life that is sweet, positive, supportive, and what I don't know about her yet I'm going to find out about her when I visit New York in a week.
I'm grateful that I will make up for not being home/NYC this weekend by being there for the following 6 weeks...and I'm so glad that I have some very dear friends in NYC that I will be able to share lives with for the first significant amount of time (if 6 weeks is signficant) in a long time.
My roommate is really chill and we get along well. I trust him and he's a very thoughtful cool dude.
Money isn't a worry for me right now. Even knowing I'm about to take 4 weeks off work, I'm not worried.
I have a great sister who's always there to talk about stuff with when I need to, and it's so great to have someone so similar and so different who's had the same upbringing as me and so knows everything already to be able to talk to.
My parents are very loving and supportive of what I'm doing right now...and helped me set my apartment up with some bookshelves and other stuff when they visited and I am still grateful for that.
I'm in a good place with Victoria and that's important to me so I'm happy that's there.
The Newtones have put my arrangement of Evaporated out there and Ben Folds is going to record them. I am going to be there and my name is still connected to the arrangement and so I'm grateful they've kept me in the loop of all of this despite few of them even knowing me (Jonah and Rachel I'm sure remember me but that's probably it). And I'm thankful that I get to meet Ben Folds who is probably my biggest inspiration these days.
I'm grateful I get the full weekend off. The last 36 hours saw me sleeping for about 20 of them and that was wonderful.
There's more to be thankful for so I'll add it as I recall it. But overall my life is pretty happy right now. I'm exhausted mentally and physically but this weekend should fix that, family/friends/girl/job/apartment/money are all in line, everything feels good. Life is good. Love. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2008|01:05 pm] |
Okay so remember how I was so freaking happy and everything was perfect and couldn't get better?
Ben Folds, who is creating a cd of college a cappella covers of his songs, was browsing youtube and came across a video of my old high school a cappella group singing an arrangement I created of "Evaporated", one of his songs. He emailed the current president of the group saying he loved the arrangement so much he wants to make an exception and include my arrangement on his CD.
I have an actual email from Ben Folds in my mailbox forwarded from the current president of the a cappella group.
...at this point I'm sortof just waiting for someone to ring my doorbell and dump a wheel-barrel of money at my feet. It's the next logical progression. |
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| A girl, a President, a new happiness. |
[Nov. 6th, 2008|10:21 pm] |
Okay so imagine being in NYC, having all-you-can-eat sushi with your sister, spending a night with the most amazing girl you've met in a long time and having The First Talk about this being something more, performing a fun show for children about writing and hearing how much they loved it and love you, then relaxing in a hotel near the Hamptons with three friends drinking Bud Light and watching Barack Obama win the Presidency. All in 24 hours.
And then ask yourself: are you the luckiest, happiest guy in the world and is this the greatest day of your life?
...the answer could be yes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 28th, 2008|06:17 pm] |
So I'm not crazy for thinking it SHOULDN'T take 24 hours, Enterprise, Triple-A, two local towing services, two Firestone Tire outlets 4 cab rides and almost Baltimore International Airport to FIX ONE FLAT TIRE right?
...I must be. Cause we're 24 hours 20 minutes and it's still not fixed... |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 18th, 2008|01:51 pm] |
update: apparently it's "Gucci Mane" and all his videos (on youtube at least) just have him saying a word or line, saying "nigga" saying another word or line, saying "nigga", and then having him smoke what is a rolled up tobacco cigarette but what is supposed to look like weed, and then saying "nigga" one last time.
whoops!! haha oh well...the kids still loved it. |
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| 12:7:5:2 |
[Oct. 18th, 2008|12:22 am] |
This was a wild week. Monday feels like three weeks ago.
Monday: Family still in town, sister and mom come to see dress rehearsal of Kids for President, my main theatre show with Child's Play (my full time touring-theatre job I play piano and act for):2. Rehearse the writing workshop show for Child's Play all day. Dad picks me up and we go drink Delirium Tremens at the Ashland because they advertised "Delirium Tremens on Tap" and "All Tap Beers $3 Monday nights" however the Tremens was apparently exempt. Go home, set up my apartment with lots of posters and bookshelves and recording equipment all night. Good stuff all the way.
Tuesday: Say goodbye to parents. Go to a middle school show to perform...the school reschedules us to noon but our potential funder can only see the show at 10am so they bring in a preschool class to watch us do the show in the morning and we do it AGAIN for 5th-7th graders. These 5th-7th graders are all black (and we're four VERY white performers), and have to watch our show instead of go out for recess. And they STILL loved it. We do "create a story" at the end where the kids give us suggestions, I ended up playing Gucci Man (who I made a superhero who turned all clothes into awesome Gucci clothes, except apparently he's a rapper) and ended up winning a rap battle with another rapper and getting a standing ovation from 200 black kids. Maybe the best theatrical gratification moment of my life. Probably. Return to office, switch out the van with the KFP show and drive to Wisconsin.
Wednesday: Morning show in Wisconsin...we're at the space at 8am. It's Kids for President New Voice which is yet a third show that has parts of the main show and then parts unique to the venue (stories written by area kids). Goes pretty well except they tell us that they want us performing for an hour and that we can't do an awards ceremony in the first show. Our show ran 36 minutes without the award ceremony in rehearsal so we scramble and add a story on the fly and add a question and answer session at the end. It ends up going well. We drive back to Chicago and get home at like 6:30pm.
Thursday: Picked up at 5:45am. Get to the office, load up, and go to Park Forest to do our Kids for President main show at 10am. It goes well, a couple sound issues cause no one really knew how to work the house sound system but we called a guy and figured it out. Show was good. Got home at 1:30pm from that show. Watch Dexter til 2:30 then sleep til 5:30. Scramble over to the Apollo and play for my sketch comedy show I MD'd, Hopelessly Devoted (a catholic comedy show), which Sara and Megan from Child's Play come to which is fun. Go see Megan's new cat, come home and sleep.
Friday: Picked up at 7:25am, get to the Park Forest Place at 8:45am for a 10am, 12:30pm and 7pm show. Do the first two, then get some Italian food, come back to the place, bust out a pillow and sleep in a conference room for two hours. Do the 7pm show, then break the set and haul ass back to Chicago to get to the Apollo Theatre at 9:45 for Baby Wants Candy, the premier musical improv show in Chicago that i'm subbing for for the first time. It's a full band, 45 minute improvised musical based just off the suggestion for the title. Very fun but also intimidating. I definitely need to work on ending songs and hone some more styles.
Tomorrow: Day off-ish...call at 5pm for a 6pm ComedySportz show, and 10:30pm for an 11pm pHamily the Musical show. Nothing major finally. But let's recap this week:
Child's Play KFP: 4 Theatre Shows
Child's Play KFP NV: 2 Theatre Shows
Child's Play Writing Workshop: 2 School Shows
Hopelessy Devoted: 1 Show
Baby Wants Candy: 1 Show
ComedySportz: 1 Show
pHamily: the Musical: 1 Show
12 performances of 7 different shows in 5 days and 2 states. At least it's a living..!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2008|03:47 am] |
Another drunken theory:
Shit only happens when other shit wants to happen, threatens to happen but fails to happen. Like jobs: shit will only happen like getting a raise or a promotion when other shit wants to happen like another company offering you a job. You take that offer and the salary, go to your current job and be like "look at this, I could jump ship" and THAT is the moment when you actually finally get that raise or promotion at your first job.
Another situation is boyfriends/girlfriends. If you want to be with a girl/guy and things are starting slowly or sortof dragging their ass, NOTHING will make the relationship official like having another girl or guy come along, have them tempt one of the people in the relationship, have those two argue and fight over "what they are" and finally realize that they are happy and committed even in the face of this new distraction.
Don't be that job and don't be that boy/girl who tries to seduce the taken one and only ends up stoking their connection to their current life. Don't do it.
That is my theory for the night number 2. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2008|02:25 am] |
i have a theory, and it is a drunken one.
all types of guys will get all the amazing girls at some point in their life. the amazing girls will probably generally get with aggressive, douchy lame guys in their youth, and then realize they want a kind, fun man who can be the father of their kids later in life. that's how my mom and my dad worked out.
kind, fun good-fatherlike men will struggle for the first 30 years then find awesomeness everywhere they turn.
douchey, crazy hot guys will have the time of their life til 30 then watch it all slip away.
the less amazing girls will probably do what they can to get amazing, become amazing, and get hot awesome guys when they're older and are cougars.
that is my theory. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 9th, 2008|11:09 pm] |
I read a couple of my first entries from *gasp* 7.5 years ago.
a) I swore a lot, and it comes off really forced and awkward.
b) I put entirely too much information all the time about everything and everyone.
c) I thought I was cool, I think.
d) I had more game with girls then than I do now, if that's even possible.
e) I think I may have been overly influenced by Homestar Runner in my narrative style.
Here's to hopefully looking back 7.5 years from now and not shuddering with embarrassment. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2008|01:54 am] |
My dog is dying. He has lymphoma. I've known this for more than a month now....and I said goodbye to him back in July. I've been totally fine with it. For some reason tonight though all I can think of is just wanting to...call him on the phone weirdly enough. To have him hear my voice and know it's me and know I'm out there and that I care about him. That I love him and that I'm with him in spirit...truly. I wish I could be with him and lie on the couch, and play the old games I haven't been able to play with him for a year or two cause he's too old to rough-house. But I know that's not realistic: I'm here in Chicago with no plans to be in Boston before months after his prognosis is up.
He was such a damned strong, healthy, dominant dog...and small too, a bichon. I always thought he'd be 15...16...before health became even an issue. Fuck you, cancer...the awful trump-card to life.
Then I think...if I'm feeling these feelings for my dog, what will it be like for my grandparents. They are becoming great-grandparents. This cycle is poised to turn...everything is going to change soon...I can feel the pressure of it with each talk of babies in my generation of cousins.
I wish I could gather every graying body I love around me in a circle and hug them...squeeze them so they all connect with me and with each other and we're all just one unified force...and then let their souls enter me and live inside me forever so I can ask them questions and feel their warmth, knowledge, guidance pump in my blood and strengthen every un-shored-up resource within me.
..or right now at least I just want to nuzzle Budgie one more time before he dies. |
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| a brief glimpse.. |
[Sep. 3rd, 2008|01:45 am] |
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I'll probably be touring through NYC at the end of October/early November, then again the first two weeks of December. Get ready for some Christmas mothafuckin Cheer, all :). |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 1st, 2008|07:07 am] |
I am in love.
I should explain. I was unable to sleep due to an unfortunately extended nap that was to last 25 minutes but instead spanned from 10pm til 1:40am. At 5:30 I made the decision to go and watch the sunrise.
I hopped on my bike and rode out onto the road at 5:50am. I encountered maybe 3 cars in the 0.75 mile bike ride to Montrose beach. The sky was a hushed periwinkle nursing a throbbing, hot wound just over the trees and I biked with a sense of urgency..like this naked sky wouldn't last long and I had to view all it's folds before it disappeared. I got to the beach and walked through grassy sand. The mosquitos or bugs were thick enough to run through and feel them pelt against your cheeks. I clawed my way through the darkness towards the beacon of pleasure on the horizon.
I made it to some pier-thing that people were fishing off of, climbed up onto it from the side and walked towards the end...a good 50 yards off the shore. To my left was the pulsing bulb of sky, engorged with decadence, and to my right was my city, Chicago. The tallest buildings literally twinkling with the light of the sunless, but still bright, sky. I could hold both just barely in my field of vision, cut could also stare right at the bright sky and not see any trace of civilization...just infinite water and light.
I sat and watched the sun-womb prepare for birth. Eventually I could sense the area where the sun was to appear...the sky immediately around it became a lighter red. I stared into this gate, making eye contact with Planet Earth as it gazed back at me. I saw in Gaia's Eyes a fresh anticipation...the excited sparkle in the eyes of a teenaged girl about to be penetrated. The sky and I knew that the inevitably glorious moment was upon us and I stared full-on into it.
POP! The cute, haloed bald gopher-head immediately was there, almost shocked himself at his existence. It seemed to take him almost a minute to get his bearings and continue his ascent. He was bright from the start...too bright to look at, unlike the tired old napper Sunset. Within 10 minutes this sun imbued the sky with blue. The city twinkled even more brightly to my right. And, I speak only truth, dead center between Sun and City, in a small cloud, were the multi-magical hues of a rainbow. The shadow-ghost of the sun, perhaps a droplet of the sun itself, found its way into this cloud, the cloud's careful arms holding a flamboyant treasure for all of the city to see.
I walked back down the pier, back to the sandy-grassy land. By this point the bugs had all vanished...clearly incinerated by the sun's perfect pure light. People were walking dogs on paths. Seagulls were shrieking with anger and hunger. Biking home the number of cars had quadrupled in only 40 minutes. Lake Shore Drive was busy with a steady flow of Loop-Bound cars.
And I marveled at how, in 90 minutes, I could go from my apartment in the dark in a city neighborhood village, out to a beach reminiscent of the Cape Cod or North Shore beaches (places I would drive for 2 hours just to get to from home as a kid), and then return home to a bustling working neighborhood, with not even the slightest tinge of sea-air or sand anywhere. And I realized how insanely lucky I am to have found the most beautiful combination of gorgeous nature and shining metropolis in America. I alone of my highschool posse deeply and dearly know this, the greatest city in the country...this bridge between east and west that houses a perfectly infinite body of water, laced with its gorgeous bike-paths, tennis courts, boardwalks, parks, curled and cuddled phenomenally next to one of the cleanest, most organized, busiest and under-appreciated (to coast-dwellers at least) city in the country.
This morning I fell in love with Chicago, my home. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2008|04:37 am] |
alchohol plus gays and lesbians plus cold pizza at 4:30am...
...GOOD FUCKING NIGHT |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2008|11:29 pm] |
Determination. The feeling of Phelps' face and arms as he whooped and cheered on his teammate for doing the impossible. Completely impossible except for the fact that it happened. The pure, carnal happiness of someone who had fought for something, wanted it desperately, and got it - determination trumping out skill or ability.
I watched that, high-fived my roommate over it.
Determination is not a word I have really been brothers with in almost four years. And it's hitting me so hard right now...this word that made Jason Lezak rocket past that Frenchman (whose name I've forgotten because he talked smack and now he's in 2nd place) in the final moments of that mens 4x100 relay race.
I need to sit down and figure out what inspires me - what I am determined to do. Not just what I want to do. What I am determined to do. There's a kind of deep grip that determination gives you...friction from your toes to your torso and up through your face. And I don't know that I've felt it in some time.
( determinations. ) |
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